I am Torgo. Welcome to our ranch. The Master enjoys visitors. I watch the house while The Master is away. The ladies may come with me. It's been rather quiet here lately. Almost no one comes to visit us anymore...and this does not please The Master. The Master has commissioned me to counter this ennui and design a home page and...welcome to...hmm. Wait here. Someone is watching us.

If this makes no sense to you, perhaps it is because you have not gone through The Initiation (via Youtube). Please come back after you are initiated. The Master waits for no one.